Heaviest Element Yet Discovered
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest
element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium(Gv), has one neutron, 25
assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles
called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can
be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it
comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause
a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take
from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion
of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time,
since each reorganization will cause more morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy
as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as
many morons.
:joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker: :joker:
